L-O-V-E is a wildly misunderstood, although highly desirable malfunction of the heart.
Which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.
♥ Your Mother
• L.Yiling.
• Seventeen
• I hunt for your blood, i'm your worst nightmare.
Woooooo! I'm fucking tired. Yawns. Think i'm going to fall sick soon. Sheesh. ): Edwin came over my hse ton last night. Talked about life and many lame stuffs until fell asleep on the bed. Then cannot wake up on time for school today. So i didn't go for math tutorial. Was just on time for wrtoral though. Hahas. I love attention, but i feel stress when the attention's coming from an audience. Oh my. ): I'm dead for presentations dudes. Then lunch with hilmi and slyvester and this guy in school. Then hilmi, slyvester and me bus-ed to century. Played maximum tune. Weeeets! O: Then hilmi's friends came, and we went to watch x-man. It was the second time i've watched it, LOL! Then bus-ed home. Btw, i promised myself to be home after school, end up now then reach home. Tsk.
Late for school today, again! -.- 2hrs somemore. Zai right. LOL. -.- Hilmi late also. Hahas. Went to class tgt, teacher never scold. =.= School's driving me nuts! Snores. Can't concentrate, don't really know what's happening. Oh my my my. ):
After school, had lunch at mensa with marcus and hilmi. Technically speaking, marcus didn't ate anything. LOL. Then marcus went off, then smoked with hilmi and slyvester. Slyvester's jacket's big. Like dress like that. I mean when i wear it lahh. Hahas. Then library with hilmi. He taught math and we side tracked alot! Omg. Hahas. Then he went to gym and i went to meet audrey, eugene and dorothy at tm. Then eugene and dor went off. Nic came. Went to eat at century food court. Then jaron came. Eat finish smoke. Smoke finish bus home. I'm disappointed.
Marcus on left and Hilmi on right. Lols.
Audrey on left, dorothy on right.
P/s: I've waited for 4 months plus and i finally get to hear you say it once again.
dawn: School's not exactly busy, its just that i don't follow. Hahas. Yeah, stress about school work and other things. (: jaron: Don't be like a small kid. Getting jealous of me having fun. Snores! =.=
Late for school today, ): Well, it wasn't my fault that i didn't hear my alarm right?? :D Hahas. Anyway, hilmi was late as well. And he bought strawberry lollipo for me! Yuck! )): Well, we lied that the bus broke down, hope she didn't really go call sbs transit and check uh! Hohohos. I don't seem to have the motivation to concentrate in school you know. Guess the holiday mood's still not over yet. Blah! School's boring, somemore i understand no shit lahh! ): Lunch-ed with marcus and hilmi at IT school. Then after school, i gave marcus heart attack twice. :D And and hilmi was like piggy backing me alot today. O:! Lols, after that went dinner at pasta mania with hilmi. Fucking full. DDR-ed at arcade, i'm noob and catched sweet, even noober! -.- The nic called and say he haven't eat. Hahas. So we acc him go eat, then home sweet home. There's marcus behind me! O:! Oh oh oh, i keep falling asleep on bus journeys home recently. Fucking yawns okay. ))): Apparently he doesn't like bean sprouts and neither do me and hilmi! Yay, clap hands. O:!
Oh yeah, i'm soooo strong! :DDDDDD
P/s: A heart so dead that it'll cease to feel.
YIJING!: Wtf, you think i'm like you uh. So hua chi. -.- Snores. kaisheng: Yeahs! Hahas, he's cute. O: !
School's boring yet slack. I can't rmb what happened on wednesday. LOL! -.- Thursday i had lunch with karen in school, then i went for lessons. After school went to tampinese mall with hilmi and marcus. The above picture. Hahahas. I bought my photo album. We had dinner at swensons. Then after that, we slacked. Audrey, dorothy and eugene came to look for me. Hilmi and marcus went off. Then we walk walk then i left for home. Yawns.
Friday i skipped my lecture. Hohos. I got a lollipop from hilmi. Hahas. Then me and marcus and hilmi went to parkway, i print my pictures. And we ate at sakae sushi. Fucking full i tell you, hees. Then went to play pool, i was high over balls! -.- Lame. Hahahas. Then slacked at mac then pool-ed again. Then i went home. Yawns.
Saturday i went to woodland take my medical report, then went to jaron hse watch x-men. Then go tamp meet audrey and dorothy and eugene. Then blahblahblah. Went drinking with audrey, dorothy, siewting, bai, jaron and nic. Actually only me and dor drink lahh. Snores. Lols. Then i vomitted out my dinner. And cabbed home. Yawns.
Btw, that's my wrtoral teacher in the above picture. O:
P/s: You're a fucking bitch that don't know whats good for you.
YIJING!: Hahahas. Lols. mel: Hahas. Return me my sticks. O:! ADP: Lols, he loves me more. Hees. :B
Friday: Went to work, then went home bath and change and went to parkway then to tamp meet nic. Then we bus-ed to woodland, mrt-ed to admiralty meet kelly. And walked to jaron's house. Ate jaron's mama cook de dinner and we all ton-ed there. Remind me never to ton there again. My nose was so effing itchy lahh sia. Lols.
Saturday: Bused home and went to bedok inter meet mel and bus-ed to tamp meet audrey. Bought nicol's birthday present and bus-ed to pasir ris. Ate and then i went off to meet gordon for some slacking. Then sebas came. I drank-ed and fucking seh! -.- Sat under void deck until 4plus then go back chalet. Gambled and i lost 85dollars!! ): CB! Zzz.
Sunday: Had mac breakfast before cabbing home. Reach home, bathed and prepared. Went to paragon for lunch with family then walk walk and ergu hse. She have a chow chow. Fucking cute i tell you. Lols. Then went home and prepared school stuff. I finally had my sleep at 8plus.
Monday: First day of school, i was a loner. -.- Only at the last hour of lessons i made a new friend. Laughs! Pathetic. -.- School is boring and i catch no ball for the wire thingy. ): Whatever. I had lessons from 9 to 5. ): Zzz. Then jaron came school fetch me at 5. Went to tm, i bought 2 bags. ): 86dollars. O: Then nic came and we had dinner. Walk walk, blahblah. I bus-ed home at 8.
Tuesday: School's still a bore. 3 hours only today, 10 to 1. Emath lecture is boring. Zzz. Math is still not my favourite. Hahas. Then i made another new friend today. Teehees. :B After school went to damai meet cqr they all, then i bus-ed to mac meet mel. Nicol came, and audrey came. I had lunch there. Then i bused to parkway meet jaron and jiejie. Played pool abit and we went to lewis there to have dinner. Then we all go parkway, i go find mummy awhile. Then arcade and handphone shop. Then bus-ed home.
You said that what you want is what i want. I don't know what exactly it is that i want and need. Your words hit the bulls eye my dear. I don't know whether to believe you or them. My mind's in a swirl now. I can't think properly. Inside of me, there's like two person, contradicting with each other. What's right and what's wrong, i cannot differentiate anymore. I'm not like whom i used to be anymore. Now i'm just blinded by love and then pulling myself away from you. Because my dearest, i cannot afford another heart ache. So please, don't play with my feelings. You want an answer by tmr. Can you tell me why? Isit because you can't wait or isit because tmr's the seventeenth? I say that we can never be like how we used to be, you say can. I say we didn't scolded each other in the past, and you said neither do we now. But baby, the truth is right infront of your eyes. Are you trying to cover it up for the better of us or for the better of you? I have no idea what you're thinking. Love's just a dangerous thing, i'm past that stage. I cannot live in something so dangerous anymore. You say its our last chance and i say i need time to figure out your love. So baby, should we take it slowly? You said that you love me the most and cannot forget me, i feel the same. Only my feelings are a thousand times more stronger than yours. The thirst of needing you by my side burns so strongly. I love you and i need you. I can't seem to walk out of our past. So baby, one last question. Do you need me?
I'm so tired, so sleepy. ): All nic's fault! Call me wake up at 730 in the freaking morning. Prepared and mrt-ed to admiralty mrt meet him and jaron. Breakfast at foodcourt. Sth cute happen lahh sia. O: Then bus-ed back to jaron's hse. Nua-ed there until 1plus. Then mrt to woodland, 168 to tamp and 8 to TP. Nic went home halfway through the bus journey. Supposed to go for medical checkup one, then not enough time. Sheesh. Handed in my things for TP and then we bus-ed off to parkway. Had lunch/dinner at some kopitiam. Then bus-ed to zhenyang's hse. Jaron and zhenyang went swimming. And nic came to meet us. We two rotted there. Then after everything. Nic and jaron send me go parkway meet mummy and they went back to jaron's hse. Had dinner at Aston's with mummy. Cheap and good and full. Hohohos. Then chatted and bought cigg and cabb-ed home. Daddy's not home yet. I'm suddenly feeling moody, i don't know why. Big big sigh! ):
I'm not a fool, so don't treat me like one. I tried salvaging everything months ago. You turned your back against me, it hurted so deeply. And now its all too late, so save your energy. I'm not yours and neither are you mine anymore. I doubt that we were ever meant to be. Please stop playing with my emotions, they're hanging on a thin line. Breakable at any slightest weight. And from now onwards, i'll be very very careful to whom i'm entrusting my heart with. It's just too fragile, broken once and never twice. I won't get myself stuck in the whirlpool of love anymore. I gave up on love long ago..
P/s: Put the pieces of my heart back together again.
Daddy once told me that it's a women's responsibility to spend men's money. I don't know if its true. I'm still trying to figure it out. Lol. I've learnt not to put my 100percent into any relationship. Yes my dear, i've truly learnt. I wonder if guys are more calculative than girls. There's hate because of love? I don't know how true isit. Somedays, i just want to wish myself away from Earth. Other days, i'm like a crazy woman. I'm born with an attitude that not much can stand. I'm born to shop and spend money. I'm born to love and to be loved. Somehow, i really wish that i'm not sucha bitch. Oh well, life's unfair. I knew. And lastly, after 1 year 1 month and 30 days, i realise that i should walk out of your grasp and lead a life of my own. Maybe i've really owed you and i shall return it all back to you in my next life.
And so, i didn't went to work today. Woke up late. Went to RP do withdraw and IMM for mac lunch and Jurong for laptop. Left my laptop there for repairs. Then mrt-ed down to tamp meet nic mummy. Walked around and around and around. Kns. Then smoked at staircase, security guard come take down his name. Lucky, i not holding cigg. -.- Okays, i'm sucha bitch. Lol. Then kelly and another girl came. And jaron came. We watched SNIPER. Edison Chen so fucking cool and handsome. Drools* Hees. After movies, bus-ed home. Don't act as if you're cool with everything. Don't make it sound like you're a love saint. Don't go one big round and shoot me. I despise guys with no balls. I know deep down in your heart, you're blaming me. Okays, whatever. Screw relationships alot! FTW, single still the best. I swear never never to use any guy's money ever again! Except money from my family. Alright, i'm blabbering nonsense. I'm just so pissed off now. And grandpa, i miss you so dearly. Was it you in my dreams the other night? I can rmb only so vaguely. I really miss you alot. ): This life of mine sucks, i wanna go to heaven and accompany you. But maybe i can only go to hell.
P/s: I know how unimportant i am in your heart.
sinyi: Weeee. :B karen: You don't lie. You too busy for me! D:
Went to work. Then boring as usual lahh. Hahas. After work, went to katong. From katong walked to parkway. Waited for 45mins for jaron and nic mummy to come. Kns! I sit down there count buses then report give mummy which bus go by how many times, blahblah. Walao eh! Like retarded like that lahh! D: Then they finally reached. At parkway walk walk? Hahas. Then go foodcourt eat abit. Then walk walk somemore, and waited for mama to finish work. Then jaron and mummy went off. I go meet mama for supper. Lols. Then cabbed home.
SATURDAY: Fucking tiring day lahh. Woke up by jaron at 11plus. Bathed and prepared, cabbed down to sengkang meet him. Went gym and swimming with his cousin. Laughs. Then bathed and cabbed to woodlan, jaron packed his bag. And we cabbed down to east coast park meet nic mummy. Hahas. It started raining and we went to arcade for a few rounds of maximum tune. Then the rain stopped and we went to rent roller blades. I finally know how to roller blade! Woooots. :D Then qirui and his two other friends came to meet us. We skated to lagoon there for water break. And went back to the rental shop. I fell down twice, and my knee bleed! D: Jaron fell down thrice! Hohohos. And nic fell down once too. Damn retarded! Hahahas. Then went to mac nua abit and went to the japanese restaurant eat. Bus-ed home with nic. Like sports day lahh sia. Hahas.
SUNDAY: Tired, i wanna sleep. ): Went to visit grnadpa. Then go yishun there go see great grnadmother and great grandfather. Then go eat steamboat and home sweet home.
And maybe it's all a joke. It ain't real. I just want a smoke badly.
P/s: There's no denying that we weren't meant to be.
Yesterday went to work then after work go tamp meet nicol, adp and mel. We went to tampinese one walk. Fucking alot pple. Then we go to the open space there play card. Then nicol's sister and mummy came. Then we continue walking. Then after that nicol's sister's boyf came. And we walked somemore. Then saw some dogs. Blahblahblah. Then cabbed home. Daddy nagged at me! D: I was supposed to go zoo today one lahhhhhh! Then some idiot say don't want go le. Make me shagggggg. Hahas. Then went to cityhall meet jaron, nic, derrick, huihui, this girl and this guy (I don't know their names. :B). Then went to marina square. Also pple mountain pple sea. See le headache. Damn sian. Hahas. Then ate at foodcourt. Then wanted to watch movies but the rest can't make it. Then they went off, left me, jaron and nic. Then we walked to suntec there take cab go hougang mall meet jaron's auntie they all. Ate ice-cream at foodcourt. O: Then walked walked. Then we cabbed to tamp mall watched fast and furious 4. Quite nice, not very exciting though. Lols. Then i smoked in the shopping centre. -.- Then cabbed home. Gym, swimming, roller blading and movies tmr. Will i die of exhaustion? :B
RANDOMMMMMM..
What's this thing about guys saying that they wanna pamper and love you? To me, when you say you wanna pamper me it means giving me the world. You have to fulfil every desires and every wants of mine. I want money, power and place. Can you give it to me? I have desires that nobody can ever give me. I desire to meet an alien, i desire to meet a vampire. Nobody can every satisfy these desires. So, why bother saying that you want to pamper me, when you can't give me what i want and desire? And when you say you love me, i expect you to love only me. Cannot have me and then outside like other girls all this. Who can do this? Even when i'm saying these, i can't even do these. So tell me, who can? So please don't cock with me alrights. There's no such thing called ever lasting love whatsoever. (:
P/s: I don't need love to live this life.
Audrey: Am i thinking what you're thinking? O: wei xiong: Lols, okokays. willy: O:! YIJING: ANYTHINGGGGGG!
Went to TP with nicol. Took my enrollment package and enrolled for school. Next is need go do medical checkup. Like waste of time, money and effort. Hahas. And i'm lazy to keep spamming acer's hotline. My laptop's cui sia! D: After TP, bus-ed to tamp, took mrt, met audrey at bedok, continue mrt to city hall. Meet jaron. Ate lunch at pasta mania, then walked to suntec. Bought movie tickets for ShinjikuIncident (isit spelled this way?). Then arcaded, smoked, carefour-ed and movie-ed. After movies, went to smoke. Chatted and stuff. Then audrey went off. Then left me and jaron. We then walked back to suntec, go to the shop that sells the swords thingy ah. Lols. Then stayed inside there looking at swords. -.-
Then me and jaron mrt-ed home. (:
Jaron piggy-backed me alot today! Hohos, sweet! :DD
P/s: Bloody bitch's here! Relief flows through my bodyyy! :D
Fuck the laptop! So easy spoil. Kena abit water only jiu go crazy! D: Lousy lousy laptop. Hmph! Okays, enough of complains. I have a good news! I'm going to TP, not RP! :DD Cause TP just now call me say they offering me a place in info comm, then call me tmr go down collect enrollment package. Shiok-ness bodohhhxzxz! Hahahas. Lame. -.- Another great thing is, I BOUGHT MY PUMA SHOES!! :D Happy happy happy. Teehees. Went shopping with ergu just now. I've also bought a vest, Estee Lauder's turbooooo mascara and lipbalm and concealor. 212 de perfume. Sk2 eye mask. Kiehl's don't know what oil and lotion (?). Laughs. I'm very incoherent with words now. After saying all these. I wanna complain again. (: Guys are all so self centered. Go fuck yourselves dudes. No offence, but i'm really implying to every living human which have a dick. (: Keep stressing me to patch, never think of my feelings, fuck you. Happy come call me, not happy fuck care me, never put yourself in my shoes, fuck you too. Keep contradicting yourself, never feel that how pissed i will be mehh, fuck you as well. Ownself never text me, become say why i never text you, fuck you real hard. All in all, fuck all the dicks in the world yo! :D And and and, sheesha is niceeee.
Hush baby hush, please stop crying. Please stop hurting inside. I hate LeeYiLing. She sucks to the fucking core, she's so stupid, so effing bloody stupid. I wish i can kill her. Stab her with the knife, throw her down 17storeys, run her down with a bulldozer. You really think i don't mind, i don't care? I'm only trying to comfort myself by saying these, and thanks so much for letting my heart fly up then drop dead down. How can i ever fucking express myself. How can the time fucking rewind. Other than sorry, what else can i say anymore? Its all my fault, really my fault. I despise myself. Grandpa, where are you? I miss you so much, can you please come and take me away from here? Let me go accompany you in where ever you might be. Grandpa, why do these sorrows never go away? Will you please please bring me away? I can't stand another heartache anymore. LeeYiLing, when will you die? You're making me feel so miserable. Faster go to hell, you deserve it all. If it isn't for you, i wouldn't be living in misery since then. 欧尔想象你的时后, 就让回忆来陪我. 原来湿的都是我哭红的眼睛.
An overseas number called me today, i picked up. The voice sounded so familiar, yet i can't recognize it. You told me who you are and where you were calling from, i had many many mixed feelings inside of me. Surprise, elated, relief, shock and all the feelings are positive. Yes, you're calling me all the way from thailand. My dear, we're 1926km away from each other. Yet i feel you, so close in my heart. What's this called? I had been thinking about you and you called me, talk about the devil eh. I seriously feel so stupid when talking to you, i don't know what am i supposed to say or ask. Laughs. You wanted me to hear this thai song, am i getting your feelings wrong? I hope not, because the song speaks my heart. Baby, let's start all over again alright? You've played enough outside, i've also played enough outside. Its time to go back like the past. I hope that i'm not fooling myself again this time round. I hope what i thought it is, is what you've been thinking. I really missed you alot for past 3months. I really missed the 315days tgt. If possible, i swear that as long as we're tgt everything will be like the past. No more wilfulness, no more irresponsibility. You do know how much i need you, right baby? I love you. You had been a part of me, and you'll always be a part of me till i die. (: Maybe what i'm saying here is very messy or sth, but i just wanna express what i want you to know through here. So dearest, i love you very very much. If its the past, i would say it as i love you 10,000,000 times! Honey, i've tried so hard so hard, but you're like etched in my heart ever so deeply. Unable to erase. I wish that in your heart, i'm also etched deeply in it. I'm really glad that you didn't forget me, i was so afraid that you would. If time can rewind, i swear that i won't make that same mistake. If only you would give our love another chance, believe in our love one last, i would do everything that i can to leave no regrets behind. This i promise you. Will you let me back into your heart once again, bring the colour back into my life, light up the darkest nights for me? Lastly, trust me this time. I'm true to you.
kam waa rak man glaai bpen foon bpai laew The word love, it's turning into dust already a-rai tee wang gor pang bpai dtang naan laew Whatever that's been hoped for, it's shattered a long time ago. dtae chee-wit mai roo tam-mai man yang kong kaang kaa jai Yet life, I don't know why, it still remains in my heart mai mee wan dai tee chan mai jot jam Never a day that I'll forget. gap kam waa rak yang jam daai yoo sa-mer The word love, I still remember it always. lap dtaa took krang yang jer ter yoo dtrong nee Everytime I close my eyes, I still see you here. kwaam kem kaeng tee chan kao jai on ae long took naa tee The strength that I know of feebly lessens every minute, yoo dee-dee jai gor rong-hai eek krang all of a sudden, my heart cries again. yang kit teung ter leua gern dai-yin mai Still missing you alot, can you hear me? ter yang yoo nai hua jai kong chan You're still living in my heart. kom dtaa non took keun yang fan yang hen waa rao rak gan I force myself to sleep every night, still dream of, still see that we're still in love. ter yoo tee nai kit teung ter Where are you? I miss you. chaat nee mai mee sit jer jop laew gor kao jai I don't have the right to see you in this life, it's over, I understand. dtae ja hai tam yang ngai meua nai hua jai yang jot jam But what am I suppose to do? When my heart still recalls. kam waa rak yang por hai dtor chee-wit The word love is still good enough to move on in life, yang tam hai kit teung wan gao-gao lao nan still makes me think of those good old days. daai dtae wang leuk-leuk nai jai I can only hope deep inside my heart, ja mee baang mai sak wan Will there ever be a day? sing tee dee-dee lao nan ja glap maa Where those good things will come back. yang kit teung ter leua gern dai-yin mai Still missing you alot, can you hear me? ter yang yoo nai hua jai kong chan You're still living in my heart. kom dtaa non took keun yang fan yang hen waa rao rak gan I force myself to sleep every night, still dream of, still see that we're still in love. ter yoo tee nai kit teung ter Where are you? I miss you. chaat nee mai mee sit jer jop laew gor kao jai I don't have the right to see you in this life, it's over, I understand. tae ja hai tam yang ngai meua nai hua jai mee dtae ter But what am I suppose to do, when my heart only has you in it?
P/s: Don't get too far away from me, i'll feel uncomfortable.
YIJING!: Lameee! -.- What or who is PS? Snores. -benJi: Sorry benji! Hahas, its april fool's day. We all had fun, so come on. Don't angry lahh. Treat you eat sweet. :D
Met audrey at outram park station and train-ed to buona vista. Then 200 to haw par villa. Omg, go there feed mosquitoes only. First and last time. All audrey's fault. ): Then we went vivo. ate and slacked and april fool-ed pple. I wonder how many victims i've fooled. :B Then home sweet home. I've pranked, audrey, adp, mel, junle, lovell, ben, val, cqr, miss faisah and zhenhao. Hohohos. Its once a year chance dudes, don't be mad at me. :D The previous post is obviously fake. Hahahas!! I didn't know pple cared about me. Wooooooo~
P/s: Stop bull shitting about how much you've loved me.
i am yiling's father, does anybody know where she went to? she is supposed to be home by 11pm but she haven't reach home yet. and i can't reach her mobile. i'm afraid something terrible might have happened. i'm really worried now, and i don't have her friends' contact numbers. if anyone of you was with her or saw her, can you please please contact me? 94427382. thank you very much.
Jaron piggy-backed me alot today! Hohos, sweet! :DD
